What a difference a day can make!!! Nothing in my circumstances has changed since yesterday. I haven't even seen or talked to Tyson today so I'm definitely not getting my optimism from some deep heart to heart conversation with him, but let me tell you what has changed! My heart! I stay up WAY to late. It's a problem. I decided to try something different yesterday. Last night, after saying prayers with the kids, two of whom were no where near ready for bed, I decided to go to my room and pray. I took my 10 prayers for yesterday and my sad, beat down, tired heart and gave it all to God. I laid in bed and confessed all of my short comings for the day. Of course, He already knew them He was just waiting for me to go ahead and get them out. I told God how dissapointed I was in the way Tyson's birthday turned out. I admitted I didn't understand why even though I prayed so hard for a good night with the kids it still turned out so crappy. I recently read a quote from Paul Miller author of a praying life that prayer is a moment of incarnation-God with us. God involved in the details of my life. I liked the way that sounded but wasn't sure I understood exactly what incarnation meant so I looked it up. Incarnation - a bodily form assumed by God. That is what last night was for me. God, coming down to my level, if you will, caring about the details of my daily life. How amazing is that!!!! God loves us so much and cares about every detail of our lives!!!! I felt the Lord begin to lift those things from me. As i prayed for Tyson and the girls I felt a peace. I am not in this alone God is right by me raising them with me waiting for me to ask for help, waiting for me to confide my fears and frustration in parenting to Him. Then I fell asleep and slept like I haven't in, well a long time for sure. I am so thankful for the gift of a new day. God is so smart! Imagine if we had to just keep on living one continual day!!!
Today we are praying the fruit of the spirit Goodness for our boys. It is so easy to confuse good behavior with true Goodness. Ok let's be honest here folks I want Tyson to have good behavior!!!! Certainly makes my life easier. But the catch is that we don't stop there. God is concerned with what is on the inside and as Christian mothers raising these amazing boys that should be our focus as well. Let's not settle with things looking good on the outside. I think part of this is to stop caring so much about making things look good for others.Wanting to have the best most well behaved son. I WANT TYSON TO HAVE A HEART FULL OF GOODNESS!!! I don't want him to behave or "act" good just for the sake of behaving. I want his good behavior to be a reflection of all the goodness going on in his heart. Matthew 12:34 "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." I can not change Tyson's heart so I am darn well gonna spend my time with The One who can, interceding on Tyson's behalf, that he will have a heart shaped and molded by the Creator Himself.
I am praying for you!!!!