Purity. This seems to be a favorite topic in our household these days. I am so thankful that Tyson and I are able to talk openly about sex. It has always been important to me that the kids feel comfortable talking to me about sex and boy do they! In order to protect the privacy of those who have not consented to have their lives publicized all over my blog I will not go into great detail about the struggles related to sexual morality that have been passed down to Tyson. I will say that I believe God has more than equipped Tyson for this fight. I used to just focus on the idea of not having sex and thought that that equaled purity but I have learned that is not the case. Tyson and I read a wonderful book titled "Questions you can't ask your Mama about sex" I'm not sure who learned more. The author points out that purity does not just mean the act of abstaining from actual sex. Ok, i know you are cringing here Mom, but I'm going to go ahead and say it anyway: purity doesn't just mean no penetration. He poses the question: Is it okay to roll around naked kissing a girl as long as you don't go "all the way"? Tyson and I have spent a lot of time defining what purity really means to a Christian young man. I encourage you to do the same with your son. We have decided that it is not ok to do anything with a girl that you wouldn't feel comfortable telling her future husband about. That Tyson should be able to walk up to the man God has chosen for this girl to marry and say here is your wife. I didn't do anything that would bring any shame to her. After all, he certainly doesn't want someone out there doing anything less than pure with his future wife.
As a single woman this has been interesting to discuss with Tyson. It has caused me to closely examine what it means to be a Christian single woman that glorifies God in my relationships. In the interest of not being a hypocrite I would like to go on record as saying I am still working towards being the woman of virtue that God desires me to be. I am FAR from perfect. I do know that God does require that I be an example for my children and this means not asking them to do something I myself am not willing to do. It's not easy to be "pure" in today's world. It is important that we not only pray for our children but give them tools to resist the temptations they face. They are out there trust me, I know all too well.
One last note, it is important that in teaching our children to abstain from sex until marriage we do not teach them the wrong lesson that sex is "bad". We want them to have a healthy of view of sex as God created to be between a husband and wife. Tyson recently made a comment about how he was going to "do it all night" on his wedding night. I wanted to puke but instead chose to be thankful that I have a son who at very soon to be 14 is committed to waiting until his honeymoon to "do it all night" I am praying for you!
For the Mama of the Graduate
3 weeks ago